Archive for January, 2012

that’s not why i came by
January 14, 2012

God only knows what I’d be without you.


January 14, 2012

remember these girls.
the girls you know now.
the girls you shared your lunch hour with.
the girls you didn’t want to share your lunch with because you had hot chips.
the girls who have big dreams.
remember them.
and remember yourself.
because in years to come when we reunite,
we’ll just be the girls who used to be dreaming.
we’ll look at ourselves and say:
“but i’ve always been like this”
our paths over the next five years,
the next ten years,
the next fifteen years,
will be outward reflections of who we’ve always been.
so when we do see each other again,
we’ll be seen as the glorified version of our 18 year old self.
the parts of us that made it through all the crap and survived
to define ourselves just a little bit more.
so remember yourself now,
remember what people will compare you to one day when you’re together again.
remember those girls.
the girls who had dreams.
the girls who felt those dreams.
and compare them not to what they do or become,
but to what they believe in.
because each of us was given a beautiful opportunity to know one another.
don’t wait five years,
or ten years,
or fifteen… or twenty… or fifty
to say: “i can’t remember who you are” to any one of those girls…
only to discover that that girl is you.
don’t be that girl.
don’t let anyone else be that girl.
because you are beautiful now, and you’ll be beautiful then.
memorise yourself.
memorise your scars,
your stretch marks,
memorise the heart that needs to move onto bigger and better things.
because you’re worth knowing.
you’re worth remembering

and i’m glad i knew you.

January 14, 2012

i seriously have the biggest list of things i need to do.
one of these tasks being: move out…
and yet, i found myself sleeping for fifteen hours
and extending my crush on the fanning sisters.

just because you call some people blind, doesn’t automatically give you vision
January 13, 2012

after an intense morning of procrastinating i’ve stumbled across some pretty interesting videos and reading some pretty intense stuff.
you can check some of them out here:

This is where I started:

I then took a look at a critic’s response to the video:
I don’t blame you if you don’t get too far into it.
overall I found the piece pretty arrogant.
the same sort of thing that makes me wonder whether or not I truly AM a Christian.

And see I think that’s the problem I had with some of the stuff I’ve been reading and watching this morning.
stuff like this: which (if you can’t be bothered watching it) basically has an attack at Christians who date unbelievers.

I have a problem because they all have these answers as to how we should all be living.
answers that they derived from the bible.
and we’re meant to live by the answers that have the most qualifications next to them.
it’s the endless amount of arrogance and pride that I can’t stand.
I can’t stand pride.
I can’t stand Christian pride, I can’t stand private school pride, I can’t stand gay pride.
because it’s pride that pushes people out,
with a big sign that says “you’re not us, and I’m proud of it”.
what  I want is “equality pride”
all men and women are the same: beautiful.

Yeah I watched the videos, yeah I read my bible, and yeah: sometimes I go to church.
and I just feel so freaking tired by all of it.
by all of the times I’ll say to a Christian “I’m fucking exhausted” and their response will be
“go fix it… go read your bible”.
“because it’s the divine word of God”.
well great. That’s handy,
pity I’m not trained up to read the divine word.
pity I wasn’t around when these stories were written.
pity they are all interpretations recorded by men who lived thousands of years ago.
I can’t stand the labels we put on everything and everyone.
“Jesus was a good guy, he spent time with whores and cripples”
really? He was a good guy for doing that? He made it normal to love… and what do we do? We make it abnormal by telling them they’re the lower levels of society, and that because Jesus hung out with them, he was a good man.
Jesus wasn’t a good man because he hung out with whores and cripples,
he was a good man because he never thought of them in the context of being whores and cripples.
they were what we all are: simply human beings.

So when i stumbled across this guy… I felt a little bit more relieved.
although he still has this ‘label’ thing going on… he took me back to what i believe:
that we were made to love.
that it’s okay to not fix all problems.
that it’s okay to just catch your breath and recoup.
and that’s what seemed to lack from the stuff i’ve been watching and reading all morning: humility in the context of compassion.
so yeah, like this guy… i’m sorry i’m a Christian too.