how i love him

mum: what should we watch tonight?
me: i have some christian dvds i’d like to watch.
dad: christian!? (laughing) what’s wrong with you!? it’s mayhem night! we need blood and guts and treason! (still laughing) wake up! wake up to yourself or i’ll bash ya!

me: (after reading courses for law that i’ve applied for) what are your thoughts?
dad: looks good.
dad: hey tig i know! i can bash myself up or something… and and wear a brace around my neck… and then you can be my lawyer and we’ll sue someone…. yeah… we’ll… sue the… the council! i’ll hurt myself on the gutter and we’ll sue the council! you’ll be a crooked lawyer!

my dad is always looking out for me.

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