the night came into stay

last night i had a dream that a friend kissed me on the neck and told me i was beautiful.
and in the same dream, that i was at a house mopping the floors whilst everyone went out to a party i wasn’t invited to.
and in the same dream, that my sister had been diagnosed with an illness that would eventually take her life.

it was the most emotional pain i can ever recall experiencing.
i was screaming words i couldn’t translate… and my chest was burning up.
and all i wanted to do was bury myself under something so dense that it could stop the pain.

although i can blame my feverish dreams on sickness and a hep a/typhoid injection that i had yesterday, i can’t stop wondering why on earth we put ourselves through such trauma.
because isn’t that what the mind does during a nightmare?
creates our worst fears, and uses them to torture us…
it really does never cease to amaze me… or bother me.

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