“like brothers and sisters”

24.10.2010
”annabelle lost her pen. she then accused me of hiding it. told me the joke wasn’t funny. threw herself off the bed. complained that she would write about it in her journal, but couldn’t because she had lost her pen… then found it… in her pencil case”

31.10.2010
”‘you’re a nice girl… the kind mothers would love to have as their daughter in law’ – annabelle being a tosser”

3.10.2010
”‘catelyn… that’s not funny. why’d you do that? don’t put your head in the sand’ – annabelle”

7.10.2010
”annabelle found her favourite place in tasmania today… my room. i almost cried when i read that. she can cross it off her list now though. i love how often she shocks me. i don’t want her to leave”

7.11.2010
”annabelle just wrote ‘trust’ on my foot. then ‘believe’… now ‘dreams’… then she crossed out the ‘s’ on ‘dreams’. i think i love her because there is so much i don’t know about her. so much mystery. she just wrote ‘rely’. now ‘love’. larissa has just come in. now annabelle has written ‘dont be shy’.. because i don’t want to read out the letter she wrote her grandpa… my accent is funny. i read it for her earlier. but i dont feel like it now. she has now written ‘weirdo’ on my heel.”

25.11.2010
”annabelle found a new journal yesterday. it took us forever to find it. it has a tree on the front”

24.12.2010
”annabelle can’t sit still. she is far too excited (for christmas) for this to be healthy”

17.1.2011
”annabelle has gone”

i can’t really type out much more. there are far more entries for me to write them all. and some will only ever be for her and i to read. but as i read through every entry i’d written about her… i found it difficult to add to the things i’d already written about her. to justify the time she spent here in tasmania with us all. all the challenges i had set her… on her list… lost their meaning towards the end of her stay. all i wanted was to soak her up. to not feel the impact of her leaving. i refused to sign her flag for so long. i refused to do anything for so long. she and i sat in my room virtually every night for almost four months. some nights we talked. some nights we were silent the entire time. it’s a kind of relationship i didn’t believe could exist. our relationship isn’t based on the amazing memories. or the fun things we did….more-so the living. having the other there. across the hallway. in our hearts. at the airport it wasn’t a competition of who would miss her more. for the seven months that she was here in total, she managed to make everyone she met, feel like they were worth something.

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