how long has it been since we saw the stars?

I just had a bit of a nap.
resulting in another weird dream.
I was standing on the shores of this ocean.
Looking out into the bay. The water and sand are immaculately perfect.
And there is this little coloured boat.
So I hop onto the boat, with a few other people whom are strangers to me.
During the trip, I get to know them. Until I recognize one of them as Bek.
I can’t figure out why everything is so perfect… but the sky is full of little grey clouds.
The people start to fade away, until it is just Bek and I sailing around the edge of the bay.
The sun is setting, painting the sky gold and pink.
We get to a corner cliff-face, and I immediately feel so happy.
And although Bek and I sail around it, I never see what is around the corner, because my view changes to being an on-looker to the boat.
The dream jumps around a bit, but eventually I’m standing back on the same shore.
Only this time, someone is explaining the place to me.
He explains that the boat takes me to happiness.
It would take me to my own happiness… and it would take anyone else that I wanted.
“well that was obvious…” I reply, “but the clouds… why isn’t the sky completely clear?”
He told me the clouds were bad feelings. I had pushed them up high above me so that they couldn’t touch anyone.
And I had assumed they were lots of people’s problems… because there were so many clouds, but he told me they were just mine.
And I had gotten so upset with my clouds that I didn’t want to get on the boat and ignore them anymore. And I began to cry because I had been lying to myself.
The clouds weren’t away from me, they had been casting shadows on my life, and I had just let them because I didn’t know how to deal with them.
and so I started pulling outwards… I closed my eyes, as night began to fall, and I found my hands touching soft veils. I pulled the veils, and they gave way. Opening my eyes, I looked to the sky to see the clouds blocking the stars.
But instead there was a patch of sky clear from the clouds.
So I continued wrapping the sadness around me, until the stars were clear.
And soon there were forty thousand people on the shores, all taking the cloth, so that I didn’t have to wear it alone.
And soon they had these dark blue sparkling dresses… and there were thousands of beds for us to sleep on lined up along the shores.
And I laid, surrounded my people who were wearing my problems.
Who didn’t mind that I had cried.
Who were now sleeping, by the water’s edge as I looked up to the starry night sky.
“I hadn’t let it affect me before, enough to cry, because I figured that escaping from the bad feelings was easier.”
my ‘family’… those individuals who have changed my life… have been ‘on the shores’ with me as i pulled down my bad feelings… and stayed by me to look at the stars that the black clouds revealed.

This fucking weird dream pretty much sums up my entire “Reach” session yesterday,
The first time I had opened up, and felt like I had actually achieved something.


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