regret… yet again featuring prominently in my life

As you may have noticed, I often write blogs about how much I have fucked things up. And it is true… I seriously cannot run from the mistakes I made in the past (beauty of hindsight… story of my life). But I know for a fact there are some things I got right.
Changing schools for one.
Boarding for another (hey, I know I complain about it 24/7, but it has made me appreciate the return to a normal life, besides it has taught me so much tolerance).
But there is one thing I know (without a doubt), that I have gotten right.
I was looking through my cupboards (emptying out things I want to donate) and I came across a book I was given, but had never begun reading.
I gave it a bit of a read an it inspired me to pull out another book, that I accidentally left up here out of carelessness.
In this book I had marked out pages I like (as you do), but one was different.
One was bookmarked with a piece of paper.
I unfolded the paper to see on the back a list of ‘speech topics’ to practice for Public Speaking (most likely from year seven or eight).
On the front was information about Australia’s refugee policy.
This was the first thing that I knew I had done right.
I invested time as a young teen, to advance my knowledge in communication.

Looking at the page I had bookmarked, I noticed what I had wanted to bookmark, however, there was another part of the book that I hadn’t yet explored:
“the eye is the lamp of the body.
If your eyes are good, your whole body will be full of light.
But if your eyes are bad, your whole body will be full of darkness.
If the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness”

Basically this verse (Mathew 6 verse 22/23) from my neglected bible, is what I needed.
hey, yeah I’ve done some stupid things, but at the end of the day if my eyes can choose to see the light, instead of the darkness that shadowed my life for so long… then I’ll be alright.
And I know now more than ever, that this is something I did right.
Dedicating my life to faith has been one of the best things I could have done to save myself.
The darkness, as i have come to realise, was just the result of my own destruction.


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