ignorance is… bliss? (part one of an amazing day)

Today provided for so many amazing moments.
The first began on my bus.
See, I had this clear set image of a girl at my school.
She is gorgeous and really smart.
But new this year.
I had this clear set image that Sophia had little depth to her; and just saw me the way most people see me.
Yes, I dare to mention her name (something I don’t do often in my blogs) because I hope that this will do justice to her personality, and that others won’t make the same mistakes as I did.
She invited me to come and sit with her, and I originally thought she just wanted someone to talk to about shallow things to pass the time by quickly.
I suggested that for the first part of the bus trip I’d sit back in my seat (I like a bit of time to gather my thoughts), and I’d come join her up front later.
It took a bit of convincing (to my-self) to get up and do it, but eventually I walked up the aisle and prepared myself to apply my ever so well rehearsed ‘fake side.’
It didn’t take long for me to realise how fucking wrong I was.
She got talking about things: her change to Collegiate, her old life, past experiences
and I began to realise that this girl knew her shit.
We soon got talking about philosophy, and more-so religion.
She couldn’t believe I was a Christian when I told her.
She explained she found religion interesting, but she couldn’t convince herself to believe in anything.
“The whole concept of religion is to keep us guessing. The truth is, we will never find out why the fuck we are here. Why we are sitting here today. We will never find out”
Which is probably one of the most intelligent things I have heard people of our age say.
We then moved on to first impressions.
You said how you remember on one of your first days at Collegiate, you remember me getting up in assembly to give a speech about the Make Poverty History campaign.
You said it was one of the reasons you decided to stay at Collegiate, because you realised everyone wasn’t the typical Collegiateish girl.
This actually caught me so far off guard: for one, I was shitting myself before I gave that speech (so much so that I almost didn’t want to do it) and also because I thought it hadn’t impacted anyone in the entire room.
You then went on to say that you instantly believed I was really intelligent. Which is also funny, because most people tell me that their first impression of me is that I am really quite thick.
I get used to it actually. And it is almost refreshing because I can hide behind it.
It’s also funny, because I’m really not that smart. Actually, this year I haven’t been doing so great. It’s you with all the A’s. Top of your class.
You told one of your friends that you believed there was so much more to me than what I showed people.
And then, this is where I feel ashamed, I tried to JUSTIFY my first impression of you:
“I think… I was intimidated by you at first. Because you are so pretty. I always feel put out by naturally stunning girls”
Beauty of hindsight really?
Well I learnt two things today:
number one: there were reasons behind you asking me to sit with you today.
number two: I need to stop being so defensive about myself.
number three: you are actually a really awesome person. and I’m glad you shared some of yourself with me today.

       sorry for my ignorance

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