Archive for October, 2009

This is not a love story, this is a story about coke
October 10, 2009

Please begin this blog by reading these lyrics. They are a great place to start.
The door slams I wake up
Another illusion I have made of this
I cry I swept away every tear that I’ve cried
And I swear this was your choice
So save me from falling with the sound of your voice

Are you lonely? Do you hold back?
Will the road ahead keep you on track?
I know you made what real for
but I can’t help to die just a little bit more

I’ll miss your every moment
I can’t hold it
And I swear
I’ll miss your perfect charming selfishness
I can’t say goodbye, say goodbye

So here goes my last chance
Of an hopeless romantic and I don’t understand
Why you don’t, why you wanna show
Your dangerously enemy and it’s tragic so pathetic
I’m in love with you and you just don’t get it

So when you lay your head at night do you think of me?
Do you think it’s right to leave me here to kick myself
to hate myself for all that I felt?

I’ll miss your every moment
I can’t hold it
And I swear
I’ll miss your perfect charming selfishness
I can’t say goodbye, say goodbye

So I sit here finding a way
Surrounded but still lonely
Your absence here doesn’t help, it doesn’t help
Cause every time I look to you
A mild depression comes screaming through
I don’t know myself, we don’t know ourselves

So make me this promise, yeah?
Say it with an object tone
Emotion feeling, can’t stop spinning
Just keep breathing, say you need me

I’ll miss your every moment
I can’t hold it
And I swear
I’ll miss your perfect charming selfishness
I can’t watch you go
why’d you go?

Now, picture your friend- slightly out to it
singing this song, with minimal clothing in, after she returns from the bathroom. She makes up extraordinarily classy dance moves to accompany her groggy vocals. The thing about Bek, is that when she dances she looks like any ordinary dorky dancer (like me) until she starts whipping out her flexibility and busts some fucking awesome moves. So all in all, her wobbly performance would gain her a ten out of ten. Because I pissed myself the whole time. Only she could make this emotional song into a comedy. I swear, I am always entertained with this girl.

Ok so as most of you may know, I am a coke addict.
Not the drug type… although it does have a bum load of caffeine.
But the drink…
You may also know that I recently moved into a boarding house.
The combination of my love for coke and moving away from my parents does not match.
Unfortunately I have become what you call a ‘poor hag’, so I have had to make do with alternatives.
Introducing my new best friend- Budget cola.
Fact: Homebrand cola is not actually that bad. It will just give you a bit of a stomach ache.

Also another fact:
I do not own a hairbrush
says something about me


brother bought a coconut
October 4, 2009

Picture 030-1

Bek: Why do we kiss? It is so disgusting
Papa D: So we can spread germs in liquid form.
(he exits)
Mel: When you find the right person… you will learn to love their liquid forms.
(we pause. Have a moment of realisation. Then piss ourselves)

Bek: (converses with Mel and I as she rubs teenage mutant ninja turtle shampoo through her hair. Spirals her fringe into a swirl)
Mel: (Breaking out of the moment and coming to) BEK. Why the hell did you just do that?
Bek: (realising what she did) I don’t know… I didn’t mean to. It just sort of happened.

Catelyn: (takes a sip of water, makes ‘parched mouth’ noises)
Bek: You’re mouth is dry. You’re well on the way sweet heart (pulls off pants).

Bek: (repeating something I had said earlier) I think this is the time to- (burps accidentally). Not burp

Catelyn: what the fuck, I can’t actually feel anything.
Bek: Ok, does it feel like you are wearing a head piece. With a bit here (puts hand over forhead) here, (hand over left temple) and here (hand over right temple)… like… a troy helmet?

Bek: fuck I love girls
Mel: Bek, did you just come out?

Bek: read it to me!
Mel: (not responding)
Bek: read it to me… or I will light saber dual you.

Catelyn: (passes wind)
Mel: (passes wind)
Bek: (tries to pass wind) (holds vagina) I gotta hold the wee in.

Busking guy: What covers do you guys do?
Mel: I don’t know… what covers do we guys do?

Bek: Check me go! I’m the fucking… mmm. Yeah

Bek: We have to goooo to Salamanca now!
Mel: Slow down
Bek: Hurry. We don’t want to miss the mice cream!

Bek: That was funny, write it down
Mel: I don’t have a pen
Bek: phone?
Mel: I don’t have a message

Mel: God it is so… beautiful
Bek: Stop being a bloody hippy! Shutup
Mel: (gets daffodil) look at you!
Bek: Stop it bitch! (slams daffodil to the ground) it isn’t pretty. I hate grass. It is like the earths pubics